The Trip.

Well here I was, tired, and exhausted - warming up my lights to start the most important production of my life. Soo much has happened this year, and it's hard to fully absorb and comprehend what has just happened. The times we live in.

The lights - they make you feel things. They amplify the smallest movement into an eruption of emotion - and during the Overture, they make their faces as bright as the burning stars. To manipulate these lights has been quite the experience.

I have done much this year. Many things. Ranging from my proudest moments, to my deepest regrets - regrets that still play on my mind every time I look back.

Strange creatures greet my path.

And titans walk beside me.

I thank Andrew Martin for guiding me along the way during the Second Year Costume Show: "Stiches of Time." He is by far the most experienced man I've met in my journey - and I thank him most for his mentoring, his patience, and just believing in me.

They signed me up to be Swinburne's first Student Technical Coordinator - with the power to make the executive decisions - but with that power came the power to make it all fail. Such responsibility. Such commitment. So many sacrifices for the end product.

I regret that. Disappointing all those close to me just to plan another setup.

But I got it done, to be enlightened with the fact that those I thought I disappointed were there in the crowd. "I noticed your hard work." they'd say - and that the disappointments that were made were atoned. "I watched you succeed." they said.

But now what is there? I've scaled my mountain and bathed in its landscape. How do I reach the stars?

It's time I fall.

I met a great man during this production. His name is Ian, and he played the main role. Never before have I aspired to be someone more than myself, or my father before I met him. Actor, stand-up comedian and future Archaeologist - Ian and I spoke insightful words of History, Conspiracy, Philosophy and Physics. We spoke of the Universe as if we had just read the first page of the Chapter, and all the answers hid on the last page of the book.

Like the children rambling on about what the next page would speak of, sanity left us and let free mindless thoughts of what has been written - and bound our chaotic words into a mad sense.

Our truth is simple, and our fight is optional - we know every word of the last chapter, inside and out. The last pages of the book have been read over and over again. They appear to us in our dreams, they are shown to us through memories, and stories of the impossible. And why we can't turn to the second page of the First Chapter? Because we always re-trace the first sentence we read.

Much like life we look back to History for the answers, only to find holes we continuously fall through. Stuck in these traps, much like Schrodinger's cat inside a box - left with a vial of radioactive poison. We cannot see inside, and the box is impenetrable. The cat is dead and alive.

Life is that paradox. Whether we choose to live it, or whether we choose to succumb to it. We are bigger than this - so we break free from the box with the strength of our voices. Inside the box was just page one, and now I can continue reading.

I stare blankly on the peak of my mountain, looking for something else to scale - I will fly to sun. But much like Icarus my wings will burn, and I shall begin to fall. But I'll hit the ground running, back up to scale the mountain again - my next project.

It seems dull to have a cycle as such, but through the hardships we face, we meet new people - and these people show you different ways to fly. They will show you that exerting your energy in the flight to the sun is sometimes, unnecessary. People watch you climb the mountain - and will ensure you glide to the heavens.

For a long time I searched for truth. I searched for the means to know why I suffer, to know why my thoughts strangle my mind. It's because I looked for a pencil, in a mound of erasers.

I have lied. I have hurt. I have betrayed. So I will leave it be written - so that page 2 may come to life. It is enlightening to know such change, that I will no longer be my former self - that I will never be held back by the things that shrouded me in chains.

But for now I'm looking for the next mountain, ready to scale, ready to reach new heights - for I have seen the sun's light - I'll do my best to replicate.

--

The Mindless Ramblings of Symon M. Taylor.

All photos are original - taken by colleagues. My still-frames of existence.