Monday, June 20, 2011

UP YOURS HUMANITY!



"For now, I just want to be ten thousand years younger, so I can excuse myself from human kind."
- from the song 'Monsters' by Something For Kate.

"If home is where the heart is, then why do I feel so fucking heartless!?"
- from the song 'Home Is For The Heartless' by Parkway Drive.

"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take. When people run in circles, it's a very, very, mad world."
- from the song 'Mad World' by Gary Jules.

"If you were me, could you defend the given rights to all the men? Let's fuck the world with all it's trend, they say it's all about to end..."
- from the song 'They Say' by Scars on Broadway.

"I, am a world before I am a man."
- from the song 'Before I Forget' by Slipknot.

"Stood in the firelight, sweltering. Bloodstain on chest like map of a violent new continent. Felt cleansed. Felt this dark planet turn under my feet, and knew what cats know that makes them scream like babies in the night. Looked at the sky through through the smoke, heavy with human fat and God was not there. The cold, suffocating dark does on forever, and we are alone. Live our lives, lacking anything better to do. Devise reason later. Born from oblivion; bear children, hell-bound as ourselves, go into oblivion. There is nothing else. Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it for too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose. This rudderless world is not shaped by vague metaphysical forces. It is not God who kills the children. Not fate that butchers them, or destiny that feeds them to the dogs. It's us. Only us. Streets stank of fire. The void breathed hard on my heart, turning its illusions to ice, shattering them. I was reborn then, free to scrawl my own design on this morally blank world. That was Rorschach. Does that answer your questions, Doctor?"
- a monologue from the Graphic Novel 'Watchmen' written by Alan Moore.

"But the foundation is weak,and this time these walls will come down. Why son't you save all the trouble and pull yourself out, and take some gas and a match, and burn it to the ground."
- from the song 'Your World On Fire' by In Fear And Faith.

"And the bright-eyed choke on ambition, and the old folks circle their graves. And the young ones are bust destroying their names; and you're still just wasting away. I sit and watch the screen for a message. Some kind of sign that says we're OK. But the screen stays blank till I turn the thing off, and wait for my conscience to break."
- from the song 'Insomnia' by Electric President.

"They made you believe that it is the perfect world, which these people-nation created for you, and in what you live now. They take advantage of you if you become conscious in order to trample on their dirty system of cruelty, though they take revenge for it. You live as a slave intimidated, more than a humiliated whore... and you believe this is good for you because your character and your self-image are totally malformed already."
- V to Evey in the Graphic Novel 'V for Vendetta' written by Alan Moore.

"Who are you trying to impress, steadily creating a mess? Step in front of a runaway train, just to feel alive again. Pushing forward through the night, aching just blow aside."
- from the song 'Far Away' by José González.

"I lost my leg, like I lost my way. So no loose sounds, nothing to see me down. How are we going to work this out? Dreams aren't bad, my head turned back. I love the gun, but God only know it's getting hard to see the sun, coming through. I love you... But what are we going to do?"
- from the song 'Every Planet We Reach Is Dead' by the Gorillaz.

"Footsteps, echo through hallways. Beneath the neon lighting, everyone looks sick. We sit, on a rusty staircase. You write your name with lipstick, on the rail near the wall. What do you think about me now, that I've fallen down? Watching, the crowds on side walks. A steady hum of nothing, is all that fills the air. And we sit, on a nearby rooftop. It overflows with pigeons, and we idly scare them off. But what do you think about me now, that's I've fallen down?
- from the song 'Hum' by Electric President.


"Why don't you ask the kids at Tienanmen square? Was fashion the reason why they were there? They disguise it, Hypnotize it. Television made you buy it."
- from the song 'Hypnotize' by System of a Down.

"...it's like fixing glass, you're only going to hurt yourself putting it back together..." - Unknown.

"And so once again, my dear friend Johnny my dear friend. And so once again you are fighting us all. And when I ask you why, you raise your sticks and cry and I fall. Oh my friend, how did you come to trade the fiddle for the drum?"
- from the song 'Fiddle and the Drum' by A Perfect Circle.

"The world's got a funny way turning around on you. When a friend tries to stab you right in the face. Loosing faith in everything I thought I hoped I knew."
- from the song 'False Pretence' by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

"They brand you with the fire, then push you into the sun. They want the free land to expire, they want everyone to be numb. The world's drinking for a cup, that no one wants to share. Words from the king that no one wants to hear."
- from the song 'The Beast' by Angus and Julia Stone.

"My hate is general, I detest all men;
Some because they are wicked and do evil,
Others because they tolerate the wicked,
Refusing them the active vigorous scorn
Which vice should stimulate in virtuous minds."
- said by Alceste from the French play, "Le Misanthrope ou I'Atrabilaire amoureux" written by Moliere

"But I'm not saying that we could to better, but given the chance we try. We dig up the Earth's trampled soil, feel the drench with greedy eyes."
- from the song 'Juggernauts' by Enter Shikari

"I love you soo much, I'm going to let you kill me..."
- from the song 'I'm Not Calling You A Liar' By Florence and the Machine.

Picture from:
http://www.banksy-prints.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/banksy-boston.jpg

By Banksy


Revelations: 2011

These quotes, these mindless lyrics, these artists that have shaped my form have taught me that there is no hope within what we see. There is no salvation in trying to fix what ten thousand other people have already tried to fix. There is no benevolence in finding spirituality. People have attempted to convince me otherwise, and I do listen to their words, but what is it in the end?
What hope is it to me that a being of un-comprehension watches over me and looks after me? Is that not selfish on my part for relying on one who is already burdened by soo many? I will not.
Since the start of this year, I've felt everything humanly possible, and now as my walls come closing around me, all these memories eat away at every last bit of sanity I have, even affecting my integrity.

Or perhaps is it something different?

A few years ago, devastating things happened to me. Something, nobody should experience, but has made me all the better. To deal with all the pain I suffered then, I self-destructed, and from there, I re-invented myself. I fear it's repeating itself, and I don't like this outlook.

I've become sentimental,
I've become envious,
I've become mildy spiritual,
I'm ignorant,
I'm thirsty for knowledge,
I want power,
I want wisdom,
I want to change the world.
I've become everything I hate.

For what I am is human, and in being human I am ashamed. An insignificant entity who has a chance to save the world, but will not because I am hurt. Because I have emotion. Because I know, no matter what anybody does to change us, History will repeat itself because we never really do learn.

I am Everyman, in all of his flaws.
And in those flaws, we leave our hearts to digress its beat due to the illogical Phenomenon of Emotion.

But still we feel.
Still we love,
Still we hate,
Still we remain happy,
Still we direly hurt,
And still we let these emotions encumber our souls.

I hate what I am.

I am human.

I loved.

I failed.


And still these emotions pester me. Even with all this negativity, there is a poking hope inside my head that also whispers to me. She tells me that Humanity is doomed, and it's okay. She tells me that, even though there is soo much injustice, soo much oppression, soo many lies; there is still hope.





We. Are. ALIVE.

It is such a simple concept. We are the ones who made ourselves animated entities on a free world to roam, and discover. We evolved and developed eyes to absorb light, ears to pick up the vibrations in the air, and a voice to make those vibrations.
These vibrations did shatter the Earth, and malformed it into every shape possible. All because we were given a mind.

But never do I think it stops at the mind.

She tells me not to. She tells me that there is always more. That's why the mind is made to perceive, not just learn. The mind is just the data base, where logic makes the decisions, but always in contest with her. She never lets down the fight.

She is my old, wearied soul.

I have not found a name to suit her yet, but she calls herself Farah; an Arabic name meaning 'Joyful.'

She enjoys taunting me, and she taught me why.
There is another step in existence, I know it. I don't know what it is, and I can only hypothesise, and even then I will still be wrong.

She wants me to learn, she wants me to experience, she wants me to know what it is to hurt so that one day... One day, I will truly appreciate what it means to be happy.

I am almost there however. Not matter what you may think is happening in my life, and with my emotions, and how negative you think this post is; I am content. I am fulfilling myself. My life is unfolding like any great story would. I am proud of what I am achieving in both my successes, and in my failures.


Charlotte, if you have managed to read this far, I commend you. For still with your light blue eyes you watch me. And know, I do not hate you. I never have. All my past promises haven't expired.
I was told the news, and know I just hope happiness is all he gives you. It is my only wish.


And to all the others who have read this far, who have read this long and pointless dragging rant about how fucked we are, just know we are alive. And with all of our strength and integrity, we can become the foundations of something greater, something greater than being just human.

Something much, much more...


Picture from:


- The mindless ramblings of Symon Moriarty Taylor.

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